I could view this as a desecration of one of the most beloved symbols of freedom in this country. I could view this as one of the most blatant attempts at claiming America for Christians and Christians alone, and a slap in the face of the faith and intentions of our Deist Founding Fathers.
Instead, I choose to come up with the various punch lines to this joke.
1. Vampire: The Masquerade will hold all of its major regional conventions in this town from now on.
2. Vandalism (1): The church will have to have 24-hour security on this statue, because vandals will come from near and far to desecrate the desecration.
3. Vandalism (2): Someone's bound to climb up onto the arm of the statue, wrap the cross in pitch, and set it ablaze. a) Lady Liberty finally gets her torch back. b) the monstrosity holds up a symbol of hate and intolerance emblematic of its very existence. c) the monstrosity holds up a symbol of hate and intolerance emblematic of its very existence, which happens to be on fire.
4. She's wearing a bhurka. Truth in advertising, I suppose.
Honestly, the first thing that came to mind was the speech of FDR about the four freedoms: Freedom of speech, freedom from fear, freedom from want, and freedom from vampires.